Still wandering and wondering at 25

I just turned 25. To celebrate, I went to the beach, felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, and have let the perpetual sound of the waves crashing through the shore cradled me as I sleep on the sand. I also went to the magical place called the Hinatuan Enchanted River and did a side trip to the vibrant falls of Tinuy-An in Surigao del Sur, two trips that recharged my soul to a candid resurrection. I sure felt some kind of resurgence. Philippines, despite my desire to move somewhere else, is really and will always be my first love.

So now what? I’ve spent the past weeks literally dreading my life. I lost my grandmother who I love so much and there’s nothing about work that felt right. Instead of getting the body that I want, I felt I was getting more fat even after hours of gruelling workout. I so want my dad to live with us again but things have changed now and I must accept the fact that he can’t live with us anymore, at least not now.

Anyway, I don’t know how and why but I feel a bit better now. After taking some time off, I have somehow accepted already that I will miss the crucial targets that I have set for myself. Although I’m still dying to understand why I can’t yet have the things that I’ve always wanted, I guess I’ll stay here for awhile… maybe timing is really the key… maybe.

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