Adult life

In the past weeks, I was forced to act like a real adult. I’ve been going back and forth to the hospital and had myself checked by several doctors I only met for the first time. I’ve been coughing my lungs out, my hearing impaired, my nose clogged. The level of discomfort was just way too high .

Adult life is hard, that’s for sure. I’m 24. I know I should have been more accustomed to this kind of circumstances. But I’m not. It was just when I turned 23 when I finally realized that my plan of moving out has long been overdue and that I really needed to move out. Actually, it’s only now when I even have to pay for my own shelter that I realized I could not rely on anyone anymore in order to survive…. and that life is indeed hard but I need to go through it alone at some point.

When I told my mom how I was, she only said I should ask support from my dad. I just ignored it and kind of proud of myself that I have the capacity to do so. Aside from the little pep talk from my friends, I just didn’t see the need to seek for other people’s help.
I mean, I’m broke, yes, but I also wanted to see if I can do it by myself. It’s the things like this that pressure me to become more mature with my decisions and be ready with whatever the outcome may be, to be capable of perceiving what’s going to happen next, and to be more appreciative of the little things that come my way.

For me, saying “adult life is hard” is such a millennial thing to say. I even hate the word “adulting”. I mean, yes, it is hard but it shouldn’t even have to be a big deal because are we not all born to embrace it?

I guess what makes the difference is how you transition into it. If it wasn’t hard enough, then it’s either you are not trying or you are well pampered to even try. At some point, we all have to be poor. I guess because it is when we already felt how hopelessly cold this life could get that we would only truly appreciate the meaning of a real companionship and would eventually hopelessly yearn for it. Being alone is indeed a scary thing. But I’d like to get to the point in my life where I don’t need anyone in order to live… whereas having all the people that I love beside me is more of a pleasure than of a necessity.

…I still have a long way to go.

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