Sick and shits

I took three teaspoons of Benadryl before going to bed. It was raining hard outside and the level of irritation that I am feeling inside my body has reached a new high. Earlier that day, the doctor told me that the cough and cold I have been experiencing over the past eight days are actually the effects of an allergic reaction to nickel. After seeing him, the discomfort continues. My nose is still clogged, my throat still hurts, my hearing impaired, and my cough still sounds like thunders on a heavy downpour.

How I hate being sick. It reminds me how in an instant I can lose control over my body and how suddenly, I can be utterly useless. This allergy made me ditch the gym for about nine days now and I became too lazy to watch over my food consumption. I just kept on eating and eating and then hated myself afterwards. Then it made me realize how I often take advantage of my body, engaging in so many activities, sleeping late at night then wake up very early to work out, and failing to eat healthy food.

Five days after the first check-up, I felt I needed to see another doctor. At the rate that my cough and cold have turned into a disaster in just a matter of days, I don’t think it was just simply an allergic reaction. Finally, this doctor, as stoic as she could ever be, ruled that I have respiratory infection and sinusitis. She prescribed me tons of meds and I really goddamn hope it works. For now, I can’t think of better ways to deal with my situation but isolate myself and I can’t help but feel guilty for not being out there.

I just can’t wait to be back in shape and feel better. I guess that is what everyone wants to feel.

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