People, issues, time, decisions, et al
Lately there have been a lot of things that occurred in my life so fast-paced they definitely left some obvious mark, random bad and good stuff and those that are supposed to be of little depth but still made quite a distinction.
I’m not going to waste my time enumerating those events one by one, in chronological order. But here I disclaim, I’m going to rant [as vaguely as possible to avoid further damages].
People are the subject of this hesitant piece. I have been somewhat amazed of how more bipolar I see them now, recognize them, and define them, without a bias on my self of course. I know I’ve contributed my fair share well in all the stupidity that happened to me in the past days.
Today, I’m feeling a bit of anti-social and decided not to go to a party I’m scheduled to go to. I’ve been ditching a lot of events lately too, some because of really real reasons and some because of relatively real reasons. I don’t know how to put it perfectly but this particular decision sent shockwaves to my days that was quite earth-shaking with a taste of either genuine or artificial pain, both welcomed and unwelcomed. Still, there was very little I could do about people misunderstanding me, taking so much hatred on my choices, and giving less importance of my existence, slowly but noticeably.
Time was never on my side too. From being indisputably bored, I suddenly found myself juggling two to three things simultaneously within my exhausted, unfortunately only two palms. This fact prompted me to make decisions that produced nothing but poignant clichés.
One thing leading to another and then another thing going back to that one thing and the appalling cycle goes on until it hit me back with a force million times the strength. I’ve anticipated the general outcome yet when it finally hit me, I still groaned in pain.
What if I go on a hiatus? Ok, I will go on a hiatus. I should have thought of this before all of these things happened. I should have predicted earlier that I will get tired of things, these people, and these people will get tired of me, hate me, love me more, and think of me lesser and lesser until they forget me.