additional baggage

You are one of my closest friends at work. I’ve spent the craziest and most cliché times of my life at this profession with you around for the past two years. From my most down moments to my cloud 9 episodes at work, I let you in my life wholeheartedly with no doubts. I introduced to you my past and tear down my skin to expose to you my soul and what’s written on it for the future. I did not hesitate to cry in front of you, nor did I not hesitate to make you here my loud laughs because I foresee every single time that you won’t judge me for the things that make me happy.

You did not ask for all those things, they are all my initiatives. And all of this, I did them for friendship.

Now that I’m leaving, I understand that all of us are facing attachment issues. Farewells are not always easy to face. Lately, you’ve been acting so cold. I don’t have problems with your ‘topaks’. It’s the part of you that I have learned to fully accept through time. But I’ve also been going through tough times now. I’ve been trying not to put so much emotions in this exit because I know there will come a time that all of this will sink in and I will be very, very sad. For now, I just want to enjoy my last days at Times. I’ve been celebrating here and there but how could I fully enjoy it when I know a big part of me in this industry is already trying to get rid of me, giving new people a chance, while I am still here… still the same as I was, doing the same things, alive and kicking.

I’ve been avoiding myself to say the word unfair. It’s your choice to deal with this any way you want, any way you can. Me saying I would never really go away will never be an assurance. I’m not even sure where I’m going yet in this life.

But don’t worry, I’m not mad at you, I will never be. I’m just hurt.