Hopeful about love


I like people who are in love. I appreciate relationships that are lasting and I feel bad about those that are ending. But of course, if it’s the one who broke my heart that would declare to the world how happily in love he is, I would feel relatively and honestly bad. For one, because it’s unfair and secondly, I’m not the one who did bad things yet he’s the one that’s enjoying the whole concept of love and not me. Even so, I’m here to write about being hopeful and not giving up on love because I’m trying to live up to those virtues today.

I’m still a hopeless romantic. I thought I have lost that person in me but I did not. After having to experience the ultimate heartbreak, I guess I just kind of got tired of the whole idea, the idea that you fall for this person, you hope he would feel the same thing, and then he would feel the same thing for you. Voila! You become the happiest person in the world.

When I’ve had my heart severely broken, I instantly became a very boring person. I don’t like watching love movies, I despise seeing people embracing and kissing each other, and I feel bad about my friends obsessing about romance. I mean, what’s so cool about romance? It makes you feel like a Disney princess waiting for your prince charming but the idea of prince, princesses, and castles are only in books and movies, not in real life. Except if you are Mariah Carey and you renewed your marriage vows with your husband in a fairytale-themed wedding and everyone’s dressed up like Disney characters. You should start saving a lot of money if you want that to happen.

Also, it breaks your heart big time. Aside from false hope, it gives you real aches, the kind of pain that would make your eyes turn into a waterfall and your heart a wrecking ball. But what’s even more boring than sitting on your couch, frowning, and cursing the people you have once loved because they have hurt you?

Love may be the cruellest thing on earth but the very reason why you were even born on this earth is because your parents have loved each other so much that they have to make someone like you. Isn’t it the sweetest thing? It may be gross but it’s also the sweetest, so accept it.

I’m neither in love today nor in the last two years. I am in love with the idea of love and the anticipation towards that. I have fully felt this before and even though it was awful in the end, it still gave me a different kind of feeling, that kind of sentiment that gives you the brightest outlook in life. For some reason, you are just always smiling like a crazy person. And for some more weird reasons, it makes you a nice person to other people in general.

Yes, it sucks to be broken-hearted. It’s going to make you numb and cynical for awhile. But being hurt is not supposed to be the end of the world. We are living in a rotational sequence that just keeps on turning and turning around and it’s not supposed to stop.

I’m hopeful that I will meet the next person I would learn to love someday and this is not pathetic. All of the people, even if they flaunt excessive cynicism within them, somehow still have a space for tiny bits of optimism within them. Somehow at some point in their lives, broken people still dream of a good laugh and life and love. Nobody wants to be trapped in an island alone their whole life because I once did wish to be alone. But this made me think of the Cast Away movie and made me sad big time.