Few days before the year ended, I have written two year-end reports regarding the things that I have been writing about all year for my newspaper. For those two reports, one about the Philippine stock market and the other one about the country’s energy industry, I have needed a week or two before I can finally write and submitted them to my editor. For my year-end report about myself, I think I need one whole year more to write it.
2013 is not a one or two-page story for me. A lot of things have happened. I have laughed and cried so many times this year but it was still the best. It was not perfect but who doesn’t have an imperfect year?
This year, my dad retired from work, left home and decided to settle in the place where he grew up. It was not easy for me to wake up each day with no longer hearing the loud music he plays in the living room every morning. It was hard to fight mini battles with my brothers and my mom without him as my protector. And it was hard to accept that I can never call him for a rescue anymore every time I get stranded in a place far from home. Nevertheless, I’m happy for him. He’s finally getting the rest and relaxation he’s been ranting about for so many years. I have never seen my father stress-free the way he is now and I’m the happiest person on earth because of that.
It was also within the year when my brother started to put pressure on me and my contribution to the family. He’s been asking me when I will leave my crappy job and look for a better one. But I’m still having fun. Every day, I’m learning new things and meeting new people. Although for him, I’m just wasting my time for doing a lot and earning a little. I don’t know how to make him understand that searching for a better career has always been at the back of my mind, I just don’t know yet when is the perfect time. God knows how I’ve been trying so hard to find out when is the perfect time. He told me I’m selfish for sticking out to this work but I’m not. My dreams exist because my family exists too. I have dreams other than this… way bigger than this… and these dreams are for them. They just have to wait because I’ve been patiently waiting all my life for those dreams to happen too. And I will make those dreams happen… no matter what.
Still, 2013 was my dream land. It has brought me into different countries and made me experience what’s living in Europe is like even just for more than a week. Europe is finally a dream come true for me but I still want more. This year has brought me into bigger dreams, dreams that could just blow up anytime if I try to ignore it further.
Independence, love, and the good life that my family deserves: these are the things that I have been striving for, reasons why I continue to live everyday.
This year, 2014, I’ll try my best to draw myself nearer into the life I want to have. Next year may still not be the time that I’ve been waiting for but the time will come that I will have to make decisions and have to stand up for it. Changes are bound to happen and the only thing that I have to do is embrace them with all my heart. Focus and discipline will bring me to the places where I want to be. 2014 will be good because I claim that it will be. Trials are on my way but I’ve been through a lot of them before so what’s new?