Memory Pill

You are my memory pill, someone from the past who serves as a remedy for my broken soul, a sweet thing that happened to me years ago when I was still so young, naïve, and all I wanted was just you.

I’m glad I let ‘us’ happened. I’m glad you came into my life. We haven’t shared perfect moments together, our relationship didn’t even end well, but you are my memory pill, the one that I think of whenever things are going unstable, how raw and adolescent was the love that we shared, how you remind me of my old self, and how I am so happy with what and how I used to be before when I was still with you.

When we started doing things, I didn’t even realize I would fall in love with the idea that we’ve had what we’ve had.

Ever since we lost it, a lot of things happened and my life has turned complicated, so fast-paced you would find it difficult to track it. A college professor expressed misleading affection for me. I was befriended by different men whose only ultimate interest is to pursue something romantic with me. I was chased by some guys who seem to be in awful and desperate need of someone just to complement them. I experienced how some people used their friendship with me to test their relationship with someone, and I know how it feels to be blamed and accused by someone for something I’m sure I didn’t do. Worst, I let a man fooled me, wrecked me, used me, and betrayed me.

I was never lucky in love. The idea of love could never be more tainted to me. I’ve been having nightmares for a long time but you are the sweetest dream I’ve been dreaming of in between, the best thing that my sub-conscious could ever give me. You are the consolation, a thing from the past that I keep going back to, I keep running to, because I just can’t handle the present anymore. Greatly, you are a gift from the past, a memory pill that i’ve been taking every once in awhile to make me feel better, one of the few things that happened before that keeps making me smile consistently.


I met vinn three years ago during my earlier days as a choir member in one of the chorales in San Antonio de Padua parish in Malabon. This photo was taken three days ago when both of our chorales participated in a concert for a cause organized by our church.